Wow

Friday night I headed back to Visalia again.

We are going to go out and see Mr. Rude (band)

He was acting stupid again.

The other guy was there and looking very good. It is hard not to think about him, because we have so much in common and I am SOOO attracted to him.

As the guy was drinking more he began to act more and more stupid. I started to actually push him away. I know I hurt his feelings, but I hate when alcohol makes a person act dumb.

In a childish fit he walked away to go cool off. I was looking at the other guy...and I leaned over and just told him how I felt. He told me he had felt the same thing from the beginning too.

That night my guy asked if I was coming over and I told him no, that I was going home...But just then the other guy texted me and asked me if I wanted stay to talk.

We had a fantastic evening together.

Yesterday I called up R and let him know that I just wanted to be friends...that I didn't see us going anywhere, he actually agreed.

So now A and I can see where things take us....

*Sigh*

Last night I was able to sneak away from home and go visit my "friend".

Went there for a 4th party. There were a small group of us, there was plenty of alcohol, and plenty of skin showing all around.

I was there to see him, but I am SOOOO attracted to his best friend. His friend and I actually hit it off really well and we have a million things in common.

Whereas I have ZERO in common with the other guy...he is just someone that I can fuck.

And he happens to also suck at that, he is very inexperienced and I get him too excited to last long...

I was bad last night and did something he had never experienced before....he loved it and was overwelmed by it at the same time. Why do I get such a rush over having that control over a man. I love to see that in a man's eyes....

I want out of my current situation, so I can move on and find someone I really want to be with.

Sexy

I need a real man to take me...

I want to be romanticized....touched, teased, pleased....

I need to.....

I desperately need to find a release, but not just once... I want one man to be there for me...over and over again.

There is a way that a man can kiss a woman. I have been kissed that way by one man in my life and I want that again and don't want to settle ever again.

I refuse to settle for a selfish lover.

I want a man that wants to give as much as I love to give. If it goes both ways there is so much pleasure.

Sensuality seems to be a thing of the past....